A Game of Cat and Caretaker
by MQ1
Summary: Who is that black cat and why on earth is it running from Filch?


**A Game of Cat and Caretaker **

_Author's note:- This is in response to a challenge from Dumbledore's girl which stated 'I am challenging you to write a McGonagall/Filch story.' – Hopefully this meets her expectations. As always please review and tell me what you think!_

_Disclaimer:- I do not, I repeat DO NOT own Harry Potter or any of the wonderful world of J.K Rowlings._

Minerva McGonagall sauntered down the halls of Hogwarts in her animagus form with her tail held high in the air. Students paid her no need as they hurried past as they did not recognise the black cat as their Transfiguration Mistress. She gave a feline smirk; the wonders of Xiomara Hooch's hair dye never ceased to amaze her. Now she was granted complete anonymity from Umbridge and any other person she wished to hide from.

She turned a corner and made a graceful leap onto a high windowsill near Umbridge's office. The chandelier she had helped Peeves with hung precariously from the ceiling and her cat eyes narrowed as she judged the distance she would have to jump to fully break it from its constraints. Minerva shuffled along the windowsill until she was at a perfect 45 degree angle to the chandelier and stretched her limbs. A part of her knew she was being ludicrously immature but the other, more dominant part, could not wait to see the look on Umbridge's face when she came to investigate the source of the noise.

Minerva tensed her muscles and sprung into the air landing easily on top of the crystal masterpiece. The chandelier began to swing precariously and Minerva watched as it slowly but surely began to break free from its bolts. At last the final bolt burst out and the chandelier began to plummet to the ground. Halfway down Minerva leapt from the top of the chandelier and landed lightly back on the windowsill so she could observe the mayhem she would undoubtedly cause.

The chandelier hit the ground with an earth-shattering bang and shards of crystal flew in every direction. The formerly grey floor now burst with small rainbows of light as the candlelight hit the crystal and defragmented. It was, in all honestly, a beautiful sight to behold.

Minerva began primping and preening as she waited for the inevitable footsteps of Umbrdige and/or her tag-a-long Argus Filch. Honestly, that man had serious problems if he felt that whipping children was a favourite past-time. Idiot. Sure enough mere seconds after this profound statement the toad herself arrived on scene and glared about the hall with her minion in tow.

"It's the Weasley twins I know it is!" she shrieked.

Minerva suppressed a snort; the idiotic woman had obviously forgotten those same twins had made a rather spectacular departure. That or blanked it out from her memory.

"But Madame Umbridge they are no longer here," Filch said bowing down as he spoke.

"I know that!" Umbridge screamed, "It must be the youngest Weasley boy or the girl!"

Minerva smiled a feline smile; this trick was going even better than she expected.

"Argus find them and bring them to me!" Umbridge said facing Filch who looked less than happy at being ordered to trawl the corridors.

"Yes Madame," he said eventually turning and striding down the corridor with his mangy-furred excuse for a cat trailing at his heels.

Minerva's mouth had fallen open; that was not good. She knew for a fact that the two Weasley's in question were studying in the library which wasn't too far from the scene of her crime. The fact that they were innocent she knew would not stop Filch or Umbridge from punishing them.

Hissing under her breath Minerva leapt down from the windowsill and ran after Filch. As she rounded the corner she saw him nearing the library and increased her pace. His hand was reaching for the door handle as Minerva rushed along the corridor and she did the only thing she could in the circumstances. She leapt onto him with her claws outstretched and clung to his leg for dear life.

"Wretched cat geroff me!" Filch screamed trying desperately to detach Minerva's claws from his leg. She dug them deeper and heard a scream in response.

"Geroff!" Filch screamed again. There was the sound of rushed footsteps from the library and Madame Pince, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley all burst out into the hallway.

Minerva let go of Filch's leg and ran for her life with the caretaker hot on her heels. She could hear hoots of laughter coming from the library entrance and hoped to Merlin that the Weasley's would appreciate what she was doing for them. She skidded around a corner and hid behind a suit of armour. Filch ran past and she took the opportunity to run back from where she had come from. There was no such luck; Mrs Norris appeared in front of her and tackled her to the ground yowling at the top of her lungs to alert her master.

Minerva fought as hard as she could as she heard the sound of Filch's footsteps coming nearer when a strong set of hands lifted her from the ground and tucked her under their arm. Minerva looked up and wasn't sure whether to breathe a sigh of relief or die from embarrassment. Ronald Weasley held her gently and stroked her lightly on the back.

"We have to thank you Kitty," Ronald said as he turned the corner toward the Gryffindor common room.

"Definitely," Hermione Granger interjected running a hand along Minerva's spine, "Both for saving us from Umbridge who no doubt would have blamed us for breaking that chandelier that hangs near her office."

"And for the entertainment value of seeing Filch squeal like a girl," Ginny interjected.

The three burst into laughter and Ronald placed her gently onto the floor.

"There you go Kitty. We owe you big time."

Minerva gave a feline grin and ran through each of their legs before striding away. As she turned the corner she heard Hermione's voice echo behind her.

"You know I could almost swear that cat understood everything we just said."

Minerva transformed back into her human form and gave a small grin. They had no idea. She laughed softly to herself as she made a mental note to give the three extra credit for their next Transfiguration essay. As she walked she collided with Filch who was obviously still searching for the elusive black cat.

"Sorry Professor!" he said through great lungfuls of air, "I don't suppose you've seen the Weasley's or a black cat?"

Minerva raised an eyebrow. "The Weasley's have both just finished a tutorial with me and no I haven't seen a black cat."

Filch scowled in a manner so reminiscent of Severus Minerva had to forcibly stop herself from laughing. "Thank you."

"Not at all Argus," Minerva said side-stepping around him and continuing toward her chambers, "Not at all."


End file.
